Perseverance…with a capital P

November 27th, 2013

I made a major mistake with this child back when she was 5. She wanted a dog.

Bad.

I mean really bad.

I told her when she was 10 we would get a dog because let’s be honest…I was going to be the one to tend to it. She campaigned for a dog for an entire year.

Around a year into it, into the constant questions about dogs, books about dogs, discussions about dogs, I broke. When she was 6, we got a dog.

Lesson she learned, I work at them hard enough and long enough I will get what I want.

PJ=Perseverance

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Perseverance = noun
in a competitive environment, perseverance is an invaluable asset: persistence, tenacity, determination, staying power, indefatigability, steadfastness, purposefulness; patience, endurance, application, diligence, dedication, commitment, doggedness, assiduity, tirelessness, stamina; intransigence, obstinacy; informal stick-to-it-iveness; formal pertinacity.

This form of stick-to-it-iveness she has surrounds her, embodies her and ALWAYS has.

From the days when she could hardly talk she would make her needs/wants/desires known and then throw herself at them until whatever “it” was, was met.

Now at 11, it’s no longer a dog, it’s a phone.

It doesn’t matter how many discussions about phones and the fact she is not getting one until she needs one and that will be determined by her parents, not by her, we have. She will not give up. Again, we are at the year point, maybe more of this endeavor.

Yesterday when discussing her reasons for wanting to go shopping on Black Friday she finally told me she wanted to buy herself a phone. I launched back into the same conversation we had had 1000 times, then I got mad (as I usually do around this topic).

And then I tried to find the positive in this and I looked at her and said, “PJ, I really appreciate your determination.” Then I proceeded to tell her the story of what I always said to her when she was 2.

I would look at you, get right down to eye level and say, “Someday PJ THIS is going to serve you well, just not today!”

PJ’s response to that little tale, “Well, apparently it won’t serve me TODAY either!”

So, how did the first day at the new school go?

November 15th, 2013

I am going to let this happy blurry photo speak for itself.

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Huge abundance of thanks (and gratitude) to our neighbors, friends and all KP’s new school mates who made him feel so very welcome on the first day of his new adventure.

Day # 1 of the next adventure

November 14th, 2013

5:45am Wake up, shower
6:15am Eat breakfast, make bed, brush teeth
6:45am Fill backpack with all new school supplies.
6:55am Take many deep breaths.
7:00am Head off to tutoring.
8:45am Return home.
9:00am Head off to new school, more deep breaths.

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9:05am

We walked into the school and immediately saw KP’s new teacher,  who I will refer to as Mr. Bobbie (cause KP would really like to call him that). He walked us to the classroom. As we walked we talked. He showed us KP’s desk. We unpacked his things. Knute asked questions about what the red folder was for and the green folder and what the schedule was and when is lunch and where should I put all the pencils and who the the GIRLS who sit next to me and how are you going to introduce me and do I have a locker….

So many questions, so very nervous. His biggest fear today, that he was going to be so nervous he would cry. He did not want to cry today.

9:23am

Once he was settled, Mr. Bobbie opened the door to show him his locker. Other kids where now streaming into the hallway. The first face he saw, he knew. I said hi to the kiddo and then asked if he would show KP the ropes today. He said, “awww totally!” I looked at KP asked if he wanted me to stay long. He said, “Nope, you can go.”

9:27am

I walked back in to talk a bit with Mr. Bobbie. Minutes later I headed out of the classroom and into the hall.

9:30am

I turned to look back at my boy. He was surrounded by a group of kids all abuzz, with a smile on his face from ear to ear. I turned and left.

You have friends and then…you have FRIENDS

November 13th, 2013

KP’s best friend in the whole-wide-world-since-he-was-wee-little moved to New York City this past summer. THAT was a tough transition but they face time and keep in touch and know deep down in their little souls that they will always be buddies.

If Pete was still in Minnesota, he and KP would now be going to the same school. Irony of ironies. Since he is not, he decided to send an email to his friends that are still there.

Hey every body,

Im sending this to Macee,Calvin,Isabelle. I’m in New York City it’s really fun! 
 
My best friend might be in your class starting Thursday.  his name you might remember is Knute! Just letting you know he’s my best friend. I’ve spent more time with him than maybe some people in my family (brother)!
 

(If you see him say hi and welcome him.)

 
Thanks every one, your friend,Peter!
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Ohhh Pete…we miss you. Thanks for being such a kick ass friend.

I can’t even spell Dysleksia

November 12th, 2013

Where to start.

I guess I will start with this photo. This is 13 minutes after I told him things that I thought were going to be the equivalent of ripping out his little heart, stomping on his soul and feeding it to the wolves.

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What words you ask?

“Yup, buddy, you have to move to a different school.”

We knew there was something amiss last year. So we pushed the school. Then we pushed a little harder and dug a little deeper. Within the pushing and the digging I hoped the path would become clear. Where the path would lead, I had no idea. I simply trusted that those we had met with and those we sought help from would help us figure out the puzzle.

The path finally became crystal clear. KP is severely Dyslexic and an immersion school setting is close to the worst possible setting for him.

With THAT bit of clarity comes action. Action that has been swift and will change the corse of things.

No one ever said parenting was going to be easy. No one ever said the path would always be clear. As much as I want it to be, it’s not. As much as I want a parenting manual, no one would be silly enough to print one.

The agonizing over what the best possible choice for your child is, is hard at best. As a parent, I don’t want to misstep. Oh I will but I don’t want to. I don’t want to cause unease, pain or hardship. But in this instance, pain, change, being scared and having to be open to what the roller coster has in store is what is going on.

Strap on that seatbelt buddy, hold my hand….we will do it together.

Catching a moment

May 13th, 2013

When the bustling of the morning is happening, dishes clanking, dogs barking, cars leaving, everyone readying for the day, then I turn and look…

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and he has found his own bit of solitude.

Double sticks

May 2nd, 2013

Dear PJ,
11…tween…spicy…smart…cute… feisty…hard as nails and fragile as a soft petal all in one. Yeah, that about sums it up.

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I love watching you grow. Your petite frames creates a facade of gentle and delicate all the while masking the dynamite inside.

Dad and I only slightly joke that someday you will cut across the lands and oceans, stand tall, and rule China.

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You amaze me on a daily basis.

Honestly, you scare me to death.

You challenge me to my very core and then you love so deep it’s sometimes hard to keep an even keel.

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How very blessed we are to have you in our lives. May this year be filled with all sorts of epic domination.

Happy 11th Birthday!

Love Mom.

xoxoxo

Birthday season is upon us

April 22nd, 2013

It’s amazing, most of our family members have a birthday in the spring or summer. It’s like Christmas all over again. We start off with CT in early April and end with my brother in August. BAAM BAAM BAAM and you turn around twice and then you have those outliers in the fall but really much of the celebratory birthday partying goes on starting now.

Yesterday, April 21, was my dad’s birthday. All day long I thought of him. The things he enjoyed, the times we spent together, the fact that I didn’t seem sad. It was odd. I wondered why. Does time really heal a gaping wound like that? Am I far enough away to not feel that aching loss anymore?

I drove around by his tree at Lake Calhoun. We toasted him at dinner. I wanted to buy a birthday cake, Adam assured me that was a little too much and then the day ended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I posted this photo yesterday on FB with “Happy Birthday Dad” as the title. It wasn’t until today when Roxie texted me that she saw the post and it made her cry.

Then it came.

The tears.

The broken heartedness you feel at the loss of a parent.

The sadness for all that is missing because he is gone.

The text that simply tipped me into tears.

Time…it helps the severity of the ache but it certainly doesn’t take away the pain of the loss.

As Roxi said to me, it’s “the big days you end up bracing yourself for and it’s those moments when your guard is down when it gets you.” And it’s so true.

Dad I miss you, not just on your birthday but on everyday.

Boston

April 17th, 2013

I couldn’t look away from the coverage of the Boston explosions.

I couldn’t help but continually reliving the moment in time I ran down that exact street looking for that finish line, anticipating being done, looking forward to celebrating with my family and friends all the while being carried in by the energy of the throngs of cheering spectators.

What happened is senseless.

It could have been me.

That eight year old that died, could have been KP.

The shear carnage.The amazing bravery. The two seem to go hand in hand in times like these.

Random violence can happen at anytime to anyone.

If you let it eat away at you, they get what they want.

So you carry on and continue to believe that goodness will beat back evil.

Boston my heart bleeds for you, for the runners, for their families and for the sad sick individual who thought making those bombs was somehow a good idea.

 

 

 

The Mary Sellke Year of Fun 2013…

April 14th, 2013

Yeah, what the hell does that mean?

For the past three years I have taken to spending much of my extra time (and money) training for Ironman and or marathons (those however seem to be more of a bi-product of Ironman training than actual ability to be a solid marathoner). Those years took a tremendous amount of dedication, time, focus and energy.  At certain points in training, it took me away from my family, eight hours on a bike in Wisconsin can do that. It also took a great deal of support from my family, to which I am so grateful, I could not have done it without them.

All that said, I would not change anything about those three years, with the exception of I wish I had been fast enough to make it to the World Championships in Kona but you can’t have everything, right? Or maybe let’s just say, that fight might not be over yet.  But, it is for this year.

This year is all about encompassing adventures I like, have wanted to do in the past, training that doesn’t take up too much time and most importantly these events must be done with my friends. Events and races are great but sharing them with friends is so much more satisfying.

Yesterday started off  the year of fun with the Fred Kurz 10 mile run.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is a small little race out in Wayzata that fit perfectly into training for a half marathon in a few weeks. The only problem, our spring has left us with snow. The Luce Line ended up being a single track snow compacted trail run. It was hard, kinda horrible and absolutely great to be out there with Becca and Di.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hardest thing about this year, I have no idea how to put it all together into a solid training plan. It’s diverse to say the least. Here’s the schedule so far:

Year of Fun:

Minnetonka 1/2 Marathon

Lake Minnetonka Sprint Tri

Tough Mudder

Ragnar

If you wanna join in a piece of that, I would love to have you. If you have an additional race you wanna do, let me know, I might be game.