Thanks for telling me I’m being a bitch!

I’m a pretty happy go lucky, bright side of life, kinda gal. As of late, I have found myself dropping out of that space and dipping into a level of discontent.

I’ve felt it deep inside. I thought I kept it hidden and managed pretty well to the outer world. You know, the deep breathing and the meditation apps trying to quell the beast.

It’s not that I’m not happy with my life, I am, it’s just added stress and strain of job, life, kids…you know, all the shit. And it seems to have piled on a bit as of late.

Last week at work, I made a comment that veered dark, snarky and the farthest thing from positive. My co-worker immediately responded with a chuckle and a, “Whoaaa Mary…what’s up, that is not your typical kinda response.” I looked at him with hard eyes and he started to back peddle, saying, “I mean, you don’t have to be happy all the time, I’ve just noticed a change.”

With those words I knew I needed to right the ship. I don’t have to be happy all the time but I am happier when I look up more than down. I’m going to thank that guy, he didn’t have to say what he said and he has no idea it changed my course. But I am so glad he did. He opened my eyes to what was falling out of my mouth trying to make myself feel somehow better. Ugly words seep into all those around you, they don’t need that and neither do I.

Happiness can be a choice. I’m choosing that.

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