Thanks for telling me I’m being a bitch!

I’m a pretty happy go lucky, bright side of life, kinda gal. As of late, I have found myself dropping out of that space and dipping into a level of discontent.

I’ve felt it deep inside. I thought I kept it hidden and managed pretty well to the outer world. You know, the deep breathing and the meditation apps trying to quell the beast.

It’s not that I’m not happy with my life, I am, it’s just added stress and strain of job, life, kids…you know, all the shit. And it seems to have piled on a bit as of late.

Last week at work, I made a comment that veered dark, snarky and the farthest thing from positive. My co-worker immediately responded with a chuckle and a, “Whoaaa Mary…what’s up, that is not your typical kinda response.” I looked at him with hard eyes and he started to back peddle, saying, “I mean, you don’t have to be happy all the time, I’ve just noticed a change.”

With those words I knew I needed to right the ship. I don’t have to be happy all the time but I am happier when I look up more than down. I’m going to thank that guy, he didn’t have to say what he said and he has no idea it changed my course. But I am so glad he did. He opened my eyes to what was falling out of my mouth trying to make myself feel somehow better. Ugly words seep into all those around you, they don’t need that and neither do I.

Happiness can be a choice. I’m choosing that.

Boston

I couldn’t look away from the coverage of the Boston explosions.

I couldn’t help but continually reliving the moment in time I ran down that exact street looking for that finish line, anticipating being done, looking forward to celebrating with my family and friends all the while being carried in by the energy of the throngs of cheering spectators.

What happened is senseless.

It could have been me.

That eight year old that died, could have been KP.

The shear carnage.The amazing bravery. The two seem to go hand in hand in times like these.

Random violence can happen at anytime to anyone.

If you let it eat away at you, they get what they want.

So you carry on and continue to believe that goodness will beat back evil.

Boston my heart bleeds for you, for the runners, for their families and for the sad sick individual who thought making those bombs was somehow a good idea.

Happy Easter Dad

Ohhh man did my dad LOVE Easter. He didn’t love the bunny, candy part of Easter. He loved the liturgical path towards Easter. He loved Lent, he loved looking at how to get closer to God. He loved the journey and then he loved the celebration it brought on.

So when moments of time pass by that he loved, I miss the fact that this being that filled my life in so many ways is gone from this world even more.

So we find ways to remember.

We couldn’t find plastic eggs to hang. He wouldn’t have liked them anyway…he would prefer crosses but WE are the living ones.

We found seed eggs.

The kids, my mom and I placed them on his tree at Lake Calhoun.

We sat.

The kids played.

We lived….

and we remembered him on this beautiful day.

The Biggest Cleanse Looser

Ok, I tried.

I failed.

I’m on the ninth day of a twelve day cleanse, the Bon Appetite Food Lovers Cleanse.  It’s really good.  The recipes are good, it’s not that stringent (I’m not a big cleanse/flush person to begin with).  My one complaint would be that the dinners take a little too long to make but besides that, even my kids were eating it.

However, all that said, I still didn’t finish it.

All was going well until Adam left town.

Yup, I will take no personal responsibility for my internal cleaning demise.  Ok, that isn’t true but to spend a substantial amount of time on cooking just for myself, seems to not be going over very well.  And to be honest, they should have never given me the “option” of a couple drinks a week or caffeine if you need it.  That just opens the door for me.

I think I might do better on the NO YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OF THAT kind of cleanse.  Then there is no question but that sounds horrible, doesn’t it?

Off to open a bottle of wine and put coffee in the coffee maker.

# 614

And so it’s here…the big race of the season.

I am packing up to head to Racine later today. The race is Sunday. My wave kicks off at 7:30 am. My bib number is 614, that feels lucky!

I have spent a lot of time training, I’ve come a long way this season, maybe even more mentally than physically.

This race…it will be a fight, a fight for how badly I want to go to Vegas.  The planets, the training, the weather, may it all come into perfect alignment.

Of course there are people who think I’m crazy and in no way can attain my goal. To you, I hope to prove you wrong.

The hard work is done, now it’s time to put it all together and have some fun.

As my coach simply put it:  “YOU CAN DO THIS.  Believe in yourself.”

Summer 2011: Day 36

And stick a fork in it!

Last night, CT’s All Star team played their last game. It was amazing, as far as Little League goes, they fought hard and kept them at bay until the bitter bitter end. The team played a great game, but it was a tough one to walk away from.

And in that walking away, I have seen my son grow more this year than in any other. This year he has show more depth of character, more compassion, more understanding than in year’s past. His ability to deal with life’s loses have grown exponentially.

I’m so proud of you CT. Bumps in the road will always be there and it is a joy to watch you navigate them with such grace.

BTW, it totally helps having your best friend there talking it all over with you.

Thanks Sam!

Urban Tri

If you live in the Minneapolis area and haven’t heard the news…there is a new tri store in town, URBAN TRI!

My buddy Todd Olson kicked open the doors last week and will be having a full fledged Grand Opening April 15-17th.

The store is located at 820 West 50th in Minneapolis, which is a perfect distance from the lakes to kick off any run or bike right from the store.  He even put in a shower and lockers for those of you who prefer to clean up after your workouts.

It doesn’t matter if you already know what the hell you’re doing or if you are just dipping your toes into triathlons for the first time, this is your store.  You can get personal attention and have your questions answered by people who really want to help you, even if you’re just buying Gu or goggles.

Anyway, it’s also loaded to the gills with some super cool stuff.

(Bike Porn)

I think I licked all the bikes one by one as I walked by and then rubbed the Zoot tri shoes across my cheeks and then I tried on the TYR carbon race suit that feels like paper and makes me look BAD ASS FAST, kinda like a shark!

Oh and then I thought about shoving the Giro bike shoes in my bag as I walked out, but decided I better not test out their theft system.

(T-odd and his store)

Congrats Todd!

Great job, the store is amazing.

Here it is…

The last in the series of what the hell is taking up all my time.

Sunday, the National Junior Olympics for cross country skiing kicked off.  It is being held at Theodore With Park and hosted by the The City of Lakes Nordic Ski Foundation, which is why I am involved.   It is going on all week and will finish up on Saturday night.

Ten teams from across the nation, the best of the best, are strutting their stuff and making it happen.

I am beginning to wonder what the heck I am going to do with all my extra time once this is all wrapped up and I am done kick’n it with sponsors.

Maybe clean the house for the first time in six months.

Where have I been you ask?

Gone, on so many levels.

My Sponsorship Coordinator position at the City of Lakes Loppet was so much more than I anticipated.  In fact, I am pretty sure it was one of the larger projects I have sunk my teeth into in a while.

It was one of those projects that you thought you wanted to shiv yourself in the temple most of the time and then you got over the hump (then you had to get over another one, oh and another one) and finally as you were rolling on home, you got to see all the hard work you put in pay off.

The entire Loppet weekend ended up being a huge success.  They had record attendance, races filling and spectators that added up into the thousands and thousands.  It was something to behold.

Here is a little clip of the most popular event, the Luminary!

Did I end up skiing in any races?  No.

But, I did end up Ice Bike racing. And, took LAST!  Dead last.  First time in my life, that is a humbling experience and may go hand in hand with this project.

I am going to tell you this…I learned a lot about myself on this go-round and I met some really great people.

A + M = Furniture

Happy 17th Anniversary baby!