Is the Doctor in?

My husband posed the following question to me this morning at 7:30 am, after one of my moments of feeling overwhelmed; do you think you need to see someone to talk about this, like a professional?

This question and others have been resonating in my mind all morning. Do I need to seek professional help? Talk with someone besides the internet and my husband about my problems? What are my problems? Do other mothers, fathers, people feel overwhelmed? Like you just can’t get it all done? And then, struggle to find time for everything else (husband, yourself, extra of anything) and if or when you can’t find the time, find yourself getting mad, frustrated, yet I say it again…overwhelmed. Do I need a little pill to help with that?

I have come to the conclusion that no one ever said life was going to be easy. No one ever told me raising three happy, healthy, reasonably well adjusted kids was going to be a cake walk. In fact, there are moments in my day where it is much harder than I ever thought humanly possible. Do I get pushed to the brink? Yes, sometimes. Do I feel overwhelmed? Yes, sometimes. What does that really mean? It means I can’t get everything done that I want to. There in lies the problem. I want it all and I want it all perfect! I want my house clean. I want my kids to behave, not to fight and listen all the time. I want time with friends. I want time alone with my husband where we can actually connect. I want free time for myself, without guilt. Could I ever have this with three kids under the age of five? I don’t know.

What I do know is that I need to prioritize what is really important in my life and cut myself some slack for not being perfect. Today my family comes first and the fucking floors can stand in line and I need to learn be ok with that.

Picture of the day

Our little Red Bud

Coooookieeee

I was wiping down PJ’s chair after lunch yesterday. I couldn’t figure out what she had left on it. It looked like crumples of cookies, which of course made me want a cookie, but I hadn’t given her a cookie so I couldn’t figure out what it was. So, I simply wiped it, smelled it (because I am not against eating my kids left over crumbs) and quickly came to realize it was poop encrusted cat litter crumbles. Mmmmmmmmm, thanks Art.

Word of the day for May 3

Glower: to look or stare with sullen annoyance or anger

Oh yeah…all good parents have one of these looks: the look that will stop your kid in their tracks. My only problem is that when my husband is in the room, and I happen to glance over at him while I am glowering (is that a word?), I start to laugh.

Do you glower?

PJ turns three

Oh sweet baby girl. I can’t believe you are three today. It just seemed like yesterday that you shot yourself into this world.

It was a Tuesday. I decided when I awoke I wanted to take the day off from work. I figured I didn’t have much time left and I wanted to treat myself to a free day. My thoughts were that I could drop CT off at daycare, head to the gym for a while and then come home and just relax.

I called Sara, our backyard neighbor at the time who was acting as our doula at your birth, to let her know what was going on. Thank god she had the sense to have me get my things together and drive me to the hospital. You were born two hours later and your father just made it to our bedside with only moments to spare.

You, my little pink loving puff, are an amazing girl. You have fight. You have spirit. You have humor in spades. You have tenderness, but one must be patient to see it and watch closely or you’ll miss it. And when you are the lucky recipient of your affection, it is truly a special gift.

I love you, I love you, I love you my sweet.

WIZZZZ

It is 5:30 am. We have been up since 3:00 and I think I have slept less this weekend then all my weekends with any one of my three children as newborns.

As a matter of fact, I think I’m still drunk. Adam just looked over at me and asked if I wanted to join the Mile High Club. I think he’s still drunk too. Yes, I am sitting on a plane heading back to Minneapolis. Oh, and the answer to Adam’s question, hmmm, I’ll just have to think about that for a little while, NOT.

The Boston wedding weekend was fabulous. From High Tea at the Four Seasons on Friday, to the USS Constitution Museum on Saturday, then off to the church on Sunday for a beautiful wedding, a tour of Boston in the Bustonian, equipped with plenty of drinks and complete with brass pole running from floor to ceiling, and lastly off to an award winning meal at L’Espalier to conclude what was a spectacular event in every way.

Anne Marie and Joe I wish you nothing but the best as you embark on your new life together. Thank you both for letting us be a part it.

Teeth are not for biting!

Yesterday, PJ got a taste of her own medicine…KP bit her. And, if you can’t see it clearly in the photo, there are seven little teeth marks for all seven of his little teeth. Now, she knows how other kids feel when she bites them.

Will this teach her? The jury is still out. Using this situation as a teaching tool, we talked about biting and how very much it hurts and how we DO NOT BITE!!! I could tell she was with me until her eyes glanced down; she touched her red and swollen bite, looked at me and said “He should do it on this side too, so this owie has a friend to play with.”

God help me.

Fashionista

Yesterday the kids and I stopped into Old Navy to pick up a jacket. We walked by the sunglasses and I had to stop to try some on. KP had recently destroyed my last pair while playing at the park, so I am in dire need of something to cover my eyes. I put on a pair that possessed more glam than I would normally buy, threw my hair back, looked over at the kids and said, “So, what do ya think?” CT looked up at me and replied, “Wow mama, you look like a rock star!”

I almost bought them thinking to myself, kids are so honest and open that his vision of me in these sunglasses has to be spot on, right? After all, I did feel very sexy in them. Then I remembered something that happened earlier in the week. I was getting ready for the day and my hair was all down, which is not typically the case. CT ran into the room and looked at me, took a moment and then said, “Mama, you look like Oprah.”

So, I decided against the sunglasses.

Funk this

What gives? I totally want out. Out of this fog, this funk, these last few days of blasé. Not that misery loves company, but it does make me feel a little better. I have asked several of my friends about their “state” and funny enough, I hear them singing the same sad song. Is it the weather or the barometric pressure that is the cause of this? I think we all may have a little something that isn’t so right, but not SO wrong either, and then the weather brushes over the top and just adds the right amount of yuck to concoct a sort of not right with the worldness.

My deal is this…I just don’t feel motivated to do much of anything. You know, the laundry, working out, the dishes, cleaning up cat vomit from two days ago, and all my other little “to do” items that I have written down. What I do find myself wanting to do is drink coffee, eat sugar and yes dabble in the red wine a touch or a touch too much. Maybe it is that time of the month. Now your saying to yourself, well shouldn’t you know honey? Actually, I don’t know. With breastfeeding for almost a year and the IUD, who knows what the heck is going on with my inside lady parts. So it could be, but then again, maybe not.

Let’s just hope for all our sakes, the sakes of our husbands, children, significant others and extended family members that the sun comes out, the haze lifts and we all can be right with the world again very soon.

And now that it has been written, let it be so!

Picture of the day

O.K., it was taken a couple weeks back, but I still like it.