Do you see the joy? It ain’t from me.

After an early morning children’s dental appointment, I needed to refill my caffeine tank. I headed for the closest coffee shop which just so happened to be in a mall. It was 9:00 am and the only people in the mall were us and the mall walkers. On the way through the mall to the coffee shop, we had to pass the rides. I have to admit, I HATE these rides. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I tell my kids I don’t have any quarters, even if I do. Why start them on these rides? If I do, then they will think every time we pass by one, they get a ride, NOT! They also have every other kid’s germs on them, but that is a story for another time. As my kids were getting on and off the rides, constantly asking if they could have money to ride them and me telling them that I didn’t have any money (and this time I really didn’t) this elderly mall walking man walked up to us, dug in his pockets, handed me four quarters, smiled and said, “here you go, for them.”

Thanks old man, you just made their day.

The floor

KP is on the move. This kid is all over the place. He isn’t even up on his knees yet. And why should he be? He can motor anywhere he wants on his belly with his right arm and left big toe. He seems to find the back entryway a great place to spend some quality alone time. I’m not sure if it is because he can see out the door, or if it is all the baskets filled with hats, or all the dirty shoes he can chew on, but he loves spending time back there. I really try to keep it clean and rock free, but for god sake it is the most heavily used entrance in the house. The other day, he had been back there a bit too long, so I went to check on him. I walked up to him and he flashed me the biggest ear to ear grin. The only thing that was amiss was instead of seeing beautiful pearly white teeth, I saw a mouth full of mud. Teeth black as dirt, literally.

Oh…my favorite

Thank you for thinking of me.
I love you too.

Constantly changing

How is it a person can change so dramatically from one child to the next? Yesterday it really hit me. PJ was playing at the park with no shoes on. I would have NEVER let CT play at the park with no shoes on when he was my only child. She ended up catching her toe on the slide and ripping it wide open.

It’s interesting to look back at all the things I worried about as a first time mom, and now that the third child has come along, how much I let slip by. And when those things slip by, does that make me laid back or negligent? I also wonder how the maternal changes in myself, actually affects my kids. How different would each child be if they were born in a different order? And is it really birth order that has to do with it, or is it me and how I handle things differently, or is it all the above and other miscellaneous items mixed in?

I’ll never know the answer. I can’t go back. I don’t want to go back to the nail biting, nervousness of a first time mom. I like being were I am, however, every accident gives me pause and lets me take a closer look at what I could be doing better going forward. And from now on…all my kids will wear shoes at the park!

L.A. Adam

On our way to Rancho Mirage.

Gym rage

6:15 am
I just finished my run on the treadmill. I gathered the small armful of items I had with me. I was working my way toward the EFX machine located directly in front of the treadmill. I stepped off the treadmill and took two steps forward, this dumpy, middle aged, curly gray-haired, fat man bellows, “Hey, wipe off that machine!” I turned around and said, “Do you see what I have in my hands? I’m getting to it, but thanks for the reminder.” As I walk by him to get the wipes he said, “If someone doesn’t remind people, no one would ever do it. And people have such gross germs.” After he finished speaking, he coughed so hard it sounded like a chunk was going to fly out of his mouth and hit the monitor. I looked at him and said, “Instead of pontificating to everyone else about germs, why don’t you just start by covering your mouth when you cough.”

5 years old

Dear CT,

You have brought us more joy in the past five years than you will ever know. You teach and taunt and torment your sister, and she will be better because of it. You are tender and loving with your baby brother beyond your years. You forge a path for us as parents and allow us to make mistakes and learn from them. You, my boy, are a gift. You have a glimmer in your eye that is mischievous and wonderful. You have a laugh that fills the room with joy. You have an understanding of things that you should not yet have. You have empathy. You have kindness. You have humor. You have energy and spirit. You will go far and you will do great things and I am so happy to be able to witness it all.

Happy 5th Birthday, I love you so.

Mom

Wilco

Yeah…sitting here on Sunday night watching our TiVo’d show of Austin City Limits with Wilco singing their hearts out and drinking wine, it’s a nice way to wind down the weekend. But you need to know, it has taken me some time to get here.

I am not a big audiophile, my repitoir and knowledge of music is very limited. But, I know what I like when I hear it and when I first heard Wilco, I DID NOT LIKE IT. OK, that may be a bit strong. I just didn’t like hearing it everyday and every night for weeks on end. On the other hand, Adam LOVES music (and Wilco) and so whatever he likes, I listen to. On that note, Wilco has been in heavy rotation and constantly playing either in the car or in our house for at least five-seven-ten months straight, I don’t know it’s all a blur. And now, finally, after not liking their music for soooo long, I will call it. Adam, you win. You have worn me down. Did you hear me? YOU WIN. I now like listening to Wilco.

So, am I?

No!
I have a little friend that helps me along the way. Let me tell you how much I love her. She is always there, isn’t a bother and I don’t even have to be think about her. If I were to become pregnant while Mirena is with me, well then…that little spirit wanted to be in this world so bad that I wouldn’t stop it. But right now, I am slugging down a glass of vino.
Cheers!

OH MY GOD

I just took a pregnancy test…and it’s positive!