Ho, ho, WHAAAAAAT?

My dad popped over early this morning. 8:23 to be exact and loaded with a big bag of candy canes for the kids. After they were done mauling him, we had the following conversation.

Have you talked to your mother this morning?

No, why?

I’m surprised she hasn’t called you yet.

WHAT? What’s going on?

I went out for coffee with the guys this morning and before I left I took the garbage and recycling out. And when I came back, your mother had already brought the bins back in.

Yeah, so?

Well, she was Christmas shopping yesterday and she left all the bags on the table…I thought they were garbage. I threw EVERYTHING away.

I let out a large gasp, followed by a loud shriek, all the while holding my hands to my face and squeezing my eyes shut so tight in hopes that if I didn’t see him that he really didn’t do what he just said he did.

What? YOU WHAT? THREW THEM AWAY???

Yeah, I know. I’m in trouble, she’s pretty mad. It really did look like garbage.

Oh bloody hell

Yesterday morning I awoke to CT screeching at the top of his lungs, “maaaamaaaaaa, maaaamaaaaa, I’m bleeeediiiinnggggg!” I shot up and scuttled into the bathroom. He had a bloody nose. And this bloody nose was a good one. He had made a blood trail that started from the pool of blood left behind in his bed, to the drops of blood going down the stairs, and then the spattered blood all over the white bathroom tile and toilet bowl and all the blood still drip, drip, dripping into the toilet water and finally ending the trail with the brownish-scarlet blood that was starting to dry all over his face, hands, right big toe and pajamas.

As I sit here recounting all the blood, I can’t believe I didn’t even once think about getting my camera.

And you think who needs what?

I have been working as a stay at home single parent this week. Adam has been on a business trip to Europe. I know, it’s crazy, who on earth would leave me to my own devices with three kids for an entire week?

Anyway, the kids are very excited to have daddy come home tonight. And since he will be getting in late, I told them they would see him first thing in the morning. I also told them that I would be running in the morning, as I usually do on Saturday mornings. So dad will be in charge until I get home around breakfast time.

CT looked at me and said, “Mom, I really think you should stay home, daddy is going to need to rest, he’s had a very long trip.”

Savior Sal?

The new book on my bedside table is How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too!, by Sal Severe (the book recommended to me twice by my pediatrician). I haven’t been so excited to read a parenting book in all my life and I haven’t even finished the introduction.

Why am I so excited you ask? Well, he claims his book can help me deal with issues, such as:
• How to get your preschooler to listen the FIRST time you ask her to do something.
• How to get your preschooler to behave without you getting angry.
• How to redirect misbehavior into correct behavior.
• How to use incentives without bribing.
• How to correct your children without conflicts and power struggles.
• How to manage nagging, whining, and tantrums.

Who wouldn’t want that???

and, AND, it says right here on page 8 “You do not need to read this book from beginning to end. The chapters are designed to be read alone and even out of order and still make sense.”

Who is this God like mortal who speaks parenting wisdom from on high? I want to kiss him all over!

Excuse me, are you using that dumbbell?

When PJ was just starting to eat solid foods, around 5 months old, we would plop her in the high chair so she could participate in our family dinner. Well, she wanted nothing to do with the food and everything to do with the post that shot up between her legs that was intended to keep her little body safely in the seat. She would simply stiff arm the spoon and start writhing and then her face would turn red. Yes, it was a little disturbing for a mother to watch and I promptly stopped using that chair.

At this same point in time, CT (then 2) was discovering his very own body parts. My house seemed to be highly sexed and my babies were getting a lot more action than I was. A talk with the pediatrician ensued and she assured me that my children were very normal and just exploring their bodies.

Well today, PJ has found her body again. She is very open to discussing how her bottom feels good when she lays face down and her binki is placed in just the right position. She has even found a name for her new feel good activity. She says, “I’m goin’ to do my exercises.”

Oh, how I wish my exercises felt that good!

Shinny, sparkly and flavored

I purchased a three pack of lip gloss as a stocking stuffer for PJ. My first thought was to just give them to her. You know, only girls should be wearing lip stick, gloss, eye shadow, etc. My second thought was, the boys are going to be totally jealous and I know there will be bickering and fighting and carrying on over gloss on Christmas morn.

You see, my boys love the make-up just as much as their little sis. In fact, as long as it is flavored, I think KP would not only apply but eat a whole tube of it. Now CT, he is beyond eating it, he just enjoys the feeling it imparts on his lips, all soft and moist like.

Side bar: have I ever mentioned how much I dislike the word moist? It unnerves me. Moist. Say it. MOIST. What do you think of? My brainstorm goes like this…hot, uncomfortable, toe jam, smegma, hot stinky crotch. See that is why I don’t like the word, it drums up bad images.

Anyway, back to the balm. Does a mother foster the love of the lip gloss on Christmas or should I start the Boy’s School of Hard Knocks and make sure the boys get the rough and tumble and the girl gets the pretty pretty princess?

You don’t even need to answer, I just decided.

My boys look great in lip gloss!

Oh, bring us a figgy pudding

One of my guilty pleasures of this time of year is listening to the oldies station from the day after Thanksgiving to Christmas. Yes, an entire month! And what do they play you ask…Christmas carols, all day, every day.

Fa la la laaaaaaaaaa.

Giving thanks and getting more

A house bustling with family, friends, food, good conversation and love, who can ask for anything more? I feel so blessed and so thankful.

And then, there is the icing on the cake…

My brother who decides to show up at 10:00 am to cook the turkey with a full head of hair and then returns at 3:00 with a Mohawk.

And my mother, who tried to make buns that looked like baby chicks. Do these buns look like chicks to you? I didn’t think so either.

Happy Thanksgiving!

And she was reborn from the murky depths

I’ll take that to go

You Are Mexican Food


Spicy yet dependable.

You pull punches, but people still love you.


What Kind of Food Are You?

Thanks Whit, enjoy your Chinese.