At what point do you change your shower curtin?

a. When it starts to have a white and filmy residue on it from the hard water.
b. When there are small dark flecks starting to pop up on one small area of the curtin.
c. When the whole lower third of the shower curtin has a new pattern of black splotches all over it.

We are working on creating a (d). And that would be anywhere from ½ to ¾ molded shower curtin.

I dare anyone to try and beat us.

Pet rock

PJ has been carrying around this large fist size rock for several days. She is calling it her baby, kissing it, taking very good care of it and bringing it everywhere she goes.

On our way home from the gym today, she threw a complete tantrum walking out the double doors, wanting to carry her glass of water and balance on the wall that is 1 ½ times her size, at the same time. The new rule I have imposed on my kids at the gym is, no cup of water = you can balance on the wall, cup of water = you walk on the side walk with mom.

She made her choice to get a cup of water. And then decided she wanted to walk on the wall, which of course did not wash with me. So, she tantrumed herself to the car, dropping the water, spilling it all over the ground, then she opened the van door and ran out into the parking lot.

White hot rage is now setting in.

I grab her, put her in her seat all the while getting hit in the arms and then the face and then bit in the hand.

Tunnel vision and numb arms starting to set in.

Once everyone is in the car, PJ continues to have her tantrum but now she is pinned down in the car seat and all her energy is bubbling up and spewing out her mouth as we drive off.

And then…through her sobs and screams, she holds her baby rock up and in a frenzy tells me she is going to throw it at me. Time stopped. I have never been so scared of my child in all my life. She would throw that fucking rock at me, I know she would.

So, traveling at 70 miles per hour I reach back and nab the rock out of her hands and immediately burst into tears.

Today she could have not only hurt herself, but me, her siblings and some other random car driving down the road.

Thus concludes my lesson for the day, no more rocks in the car; I don’t care how much you love them!

How to tick me off

Walk onto my freshly washed hard wood floors with your shoes still on and then somehow miss the toilet when you pee.

16 months

Sweet big baby boy,
Oh how you have grown in just the last month. You now can walk (kinda like a penguin on lots of ice) and talk (like you’ve got marbles in your mouth) and dare I say it…hit (like Mike Tyson, ok not that hard but at least as hard as PJ). You hug those you love and glower at those you don’t. You have attitude and opinions. You know songs and words and signs. You are so proud!

The world around you is filling you up and it is wonderful to watch.

I love you,

mama

Kid quote of the day

PJ was screaming at the top of her lungs because I wasn’t giving into her demand of coloring with a permanent black Sharpie pen on top of the wooden counter tops.

She concluded the tantrum bellowing, “THEN I PUT MY FINGER IN MY BUTT!”

Fairy dust has landed

CT lost his tooth.

And yes, Adam pulled it.

With a little Novocain jell from the dentist, CT found his strength, tried to pull it himself and then dad got in there and popped that sucker right out.

No problem.

nano nano

He did it. Four months to the day later, he found me the perfect gift that he wanted me to have for my 35th birthday…the Apple nano.

It is even personalized:
editor-in-chief
www.circuslunch.com

Now, only I need to hear Aretha Franklin belting out R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Thanks baby, I love it.

And she’s off

Today was PJ’s first day of preschool. She has been ready for preschool since last year. Watching CT go in and out of those classroom doors and not being invited to stay for two solid years, was almost too much for her to handle.

But today, it was her turn.

This exciting morning, this day of all days, she donned her princess outfit (which includes a pink frilly unitard and a ballet skirt with flowers and a bell for good measure) just to make a good first impression I am sure.

After breakfast she slapped on her pink flower back pack and Velcroed up her “good” sandals as quick as she could and was ready to go.

Once we got there she ran right into that room, washed her hands, sat down at the table and got to work on her play dough, never once looking back.

When we came to pick her up she immediately hit me and yelled, “I’M NOT LEAVING!”

I guess she had a good time.

Butt you can’t talk like that at school

Thanks to my husband, who this weekend, after I had come back from a run and in front of the kids, told me I smelled. He not only told me I smelled, but he told me I smelled like BUTT. And for the rest of the day we got to hear our children repeat exactly what my husband told me…YOU SMELL LIKE BUTT.

Good luck Miss Ann

Me: PJ, your preschool letter came in the mail today. Your preschool teacher’s name is Miss Ann.

PJ: I don’t like her!