This might be…

May 17th, 2005

Just up my alley. Now, I’m not talking about watching, I’m talking about joining!

Me and Toad

May 16th, 2005

I was digging around in the garden the other day and out of the corner of my eye I saw something move. I turned my head to see a great big’ol toad. He was perfect, all big and lumpy and slow. I petted his back, so he would pee, and then I picked him up.

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I have always loved toads. When I was little, my parents had these big window wells that any small child from 5 to 10 years of age could fit in, hide and also find a plethora of toads and salamanders (damn I loved those guys too, but that is for another time). During the summers, my brother and I would root out all the animals that lived in the window wells and play with them.

Per my mother, I had such an affinity for these green creatures that I would choose one special toad and play with only that one all day. I would mainly swing on the swing set with it, me showing my new friend how high we could swing and he squished between my hand and the rusty chain links. Then I would pet him, make him have races with the other toads, let our cat chase after him, snuggle with him, try to feed him and then at the end of the day my mother would come out and pry that day’s dead toad out of my hand while I cried and pleaded to play with it for just one more minute.

Good to see ya again toad!

1 Year Old

May 15th, 2005

Dear KP,

I can’t believe it has been a year since you came into the world. You have brightened our days, changed our dynamic and made your own mark on our family.

If someone were to ask me what you are like at one year, I would reply:

You are easy going. You are the type of baby people would pay money for. You are the type of baby that if one isn’t too careful, they could get “sucked in” by your ease and think they want another just like you…that rarely happens my friends, don’t get fooled.

You are scheduled and consistent. You want only big kid food now and suddenly you have a discriminating palate. You go to sleep at 6:00 pm and wake up cooing in your crib at 6:30 am.

You are joyful and good natured. You interact with everyone and all things around you: playing games, doing things to get attention and actually laughing at the craziness that surrounds you.

You love to play with your siblings. The favorite seems to be Monster Baby. You just so happen to be the monster, the big kids run circles around you while you slide your belly across the floor with your big right toe and they scream, “MONSTER BABY, MONSTER BABY”. When your siblings are not around, you play nicely by yourself, but then there are moments when you look up and seem lost without them near.

You, my little nugget, are absolute joy and happiness and love. Thank you for being here with us. We love you.

Happy 1st Birthday!

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Cry baby

May 13th, 2005

KP is crying, and crying, and crying. He is in his crib. He needs to sleep. He is tired.

Listening to this type of crying truly is a form of torture for me. It makes me crazy! I can’t seem to block it out of my mind. It is just too loud. It resonates in my mind…piercing shrieks that don’t seem like they will ever end.

When CT was little and learning to get himself to sleep, I would have to leave the house because I couldn’t stand listening to him cry. I thought it would get easier for me as the number of children increased, but it hasn’t. It is as hard today to listen to my baby cry as it was the first day I brought one home.

A sign of things to come?

May 12th, 2005

Tuesday morning PJ and I were having some really nice quality mother-daughter time, raking, seeding, planting, dusting and doing other various house hold chores while KP slept and CT was at school.

While we were in the basement dusting, PJ announces that she has to go potty and that she wants me to come with her. I told her to go on by herself and that I would be up to wipe her shortly.

She started to become defiant, stood her ground and refused to go by herself. Please note, she has been going potty by herself for several months now and even wiping her own poopy bottom, so it isn’t like she can’t do this task.

I asked her to please let me finish my dusting and then I would be more than happy to help.

She kept demanding.

I kept pleading and dusting. I just wanted to finish the dusting!

She said, “I tinkled in my pants.”

Not looking, I told her to get up stairs immediately and finish going potty in the bathroom.

She said, “I tinkling on the remote.”

I turned and looked at my little girl, white hot rage starting to burn over my skin. She was standing with her legs shoulder width apart, her angry little eyes peering out through the hair that was covering her face, the remote laying dead center underneath her and there she was…peeing on it.

Thinking

May 10th, 2005

Whenever I rake the grass in the spring, I wonder if it feels good to the earth. Like a great scalp massage when you’re getting your hair cut.

Mom was right…

May 10th, 2005

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Laughing

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leads to crying!

Happy Mother’s Day

May 8th, 2005

Dear Mom,
Thanks for being the wonderful person you are. For always being there for me. For always having time for me. For always wanting the best for me. For always loving me, no matter what.
I love you.
M

Take a breath

May 7th, 2005

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Oh baby girl, happy 3rd birthday party day. You did great.
I love you.

Tomorrow

May 6th, 2005

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PJ is having her third birthday party tomorrow. She has no idea that her birthday has actually passed, yes that was very selfish of me, but you try to explain to a just turned three year old who doesn’t understand days of the week or hours of the day. She often times thinks when she wakes up from her afternoon nap that it is the next day. Need I say more?

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Anyway, she and I have been getting ready today. Actually, that is a bit overstated. We made the cake, danced like princesses and talked about her party.

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Tomorrow should be fun. One minute she can’t wait for her party to start, talking a mile a minute about how her friends are going to look at her cake and say, “Oh my, PJ I love your cake, what a pretty cake!” The next second, her face has turned sullen and she begins to ramble on about not wanting to turn three and not wanting to have a party at all.

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It is her party, she can cry if she wants to. But, if I know my girl, she will party like a rock star and then hit someone later.