May 25th, 2006

Today was the third time in the lifetime of my children that I have purchased Lunchables. We were out of milk, or for that matter, anything at all that was edible and the bus was coming for CT in 30 minutes.

So there we, walking the line between sleepy crying baby, over tired preschooler and anxious about to miss the bus kindergartener and I chose to take them into the store. Two steps out of the car CT side swipes PJ’s leg and down she goes. She takes two more steps and stubs her toe. Then karma catches up with him and he gets his foot caught under the wheel of the cart. As usual, screaming ensued. I stopped, looked at them and told them, if they could find it within themselves to be good in the store, they could pick out their own lunch. So there you have it, they complied. And they chose Lunchables.

Just so you know I hate Lunchables. If you wanted to torture me to get our family secrets or the locks from our safes all you would have to do is tie me up, starve me for a few hours and then stick a Lunchable in front of me. I would vomit at the sight of it and then proceed to give you anything you wanted. I could drone on and on about how bad for my children they are…the sugar…the fillers… oh I must stop…the slimy processed meat and cheese…but they LOVE them. Or, at least they love the idea of them. Or as Whitney put it, they love the kiddy marketing (rotten Oscar Mayer bastards) of them.

And as you can see, the juice and the dessert are gone and the rest went down the disposal.

Do you see the apple slices; those were a vein attempt on my part to not feel so guilty about feeding my children crap. You see how well that went over.

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