Waiting for the bus

CT has been cool as a cucumber with this whole 1st grade bit. The only time I got an inkling of doubt was on the way out the door to the bus stop.

Right as we were about to walk through the threshold of the door he turned around, touched my arm and said, “Mom, now I’m a little nervous.”

Then off he went to seize the day.

When I’m and old lady I shall wear purple

I was lucky enough to get a bike ride in on this glorious day. I was coming to the end of my 15 mile loop when I pedaled up behind this woman who had to be in her seventies and was moving at a pretty serious clip. Since the path was narrowing and we were coming to a very busy intersection I decided to stay behind her.

At this particular intersection there is a stop sign on the bike path for the bikers and a sign under the stop sign that clearly states that this is not a cross walk and that the cars on the street have the right of way.

Well, the sweet little old lady with maroon dyed hair that was up in a bun and her cute old lady skin wrinkling out from the bottom of her black spandex bike shorts and maroon sports bra must not have read the sign because she just starts screaming out at all the cars passing by at 45 miles an hour “YOU FUCKING CAR PIGS…DAMN IDIOTS!!!”

All I knew at that moment was that this bike ride was not helping her release her inner rage.

How many adults does it take to swab PJ’s throat?

Today we took a trip into the doctor’s office for a “quick strep test”. CT and PJ both have had fevers with sore throats and upon closer inspection this morning, white spots on the tonsils.

PJ wanted nothing to do with this and started to panic while still in the comfort of her own home. After trying to reason with her, without any success, I just picked her up and plopped her in the car seat and off we went.

She made it very clear that she was not going to get swabbed. Even with her big brother telling her it only tickles and the bribes of donuts and movies, she wasn’t budging.

So the next three minutes of my life looked like this…

CT sat nicely and got his throat swabbed. I kept trying to calm PJ as the hysteria started to set in. The nurse asked her if she wanted to sit on my lap or the table. Unable to hear any response through the high pitched sobs, the nurse mouthed to me “put her on the table and hold her arms down”. PJ starts screaming “I hate this place” and “I hate all of you”, the nurse calmly says, “just open your mouth”. PJ yells “NEEEEVVVVVVEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!” One set of swabs goes in, PJ clamps down and keeps them in her mouth too long for them to be any good. So the nurse has her pull them out since her jaw is locked in place and she is unable to do it.

The doctor turned to me and said, “I don’t like doing that, I’m going to have nightmares about this one.”

1st Grade

Yesterday we got the “list” in the mail. The “list” that told us who CT has for his 1st grade teacher and who will be in his class.

There is a lot of excitement in the house about school starting. All day school, bus rides, desks, lockers, recess, hot lunch, the list of thrillers goes on and on. He can’t wait. And when people ask me if I am ready for him to take his big step I look at them straight in the eyes and say with all certainty that everyone in the family is ready to forge ahead into the school year.

I don’t feel sad or that I am loosing him or that my baby is leaving the nest or that I am loosing part of me which I can’t get back…my first born baby.

Along with the “list” came forms to fill out, information for the parents and a special letter written to CT from his teacher.

This morning over breakfast I asked CT if he wanted me to read the letter to him. “Yes, yes, yes!” came falling out of his mouth. As I read the letter out loud, about how excited his teacher was to have him in class and about who his teacher is and what she likes to do with her free time and who her children are and what summer adventures she and her family have had and how much fun and all the exciting things they will learn this year, I started to tear up and then I couldn’t hold it back and started to cry.

Even though I may be ready to let go, it is still amazing to me that my baby boy is embarking on such an amazing adventure and I won’t be there all day to hold his hand or wipe his nose or to teach him…he will have to do it on his own, with his friends and with his new teacher.

Words

The T-shirt in the link below started a brief email exchange with my friend Jen regarding our own parents and some of the things they did that caused us to stop and think when we were kids.

If I was misbehaving my dad would threaten to sell me to the traveling band of gypsies (since they were always in town). He would also never forget to include the fact that he could get a higher price for me because of my blue eyes.

Jen’s parents gave her a T-shirt that read “Rent for Cheap”. She had no doubt that they would rent her right out.

What words did your parents utter that you will never forget?

shopping spree

After the day I have had…I feel the need to buy this in a 3-pack.

Dream sequence

Have you ever had a dream that sticks with you even after you have woken up?

On Thursday morning my alarm went off and when I woke up I thought I was still living it. It felt so real and so vivid that it took me a couple minutes to realize it wasn’t reality and then it clung to me for the rest of the day.

In my dream…
My mother and I were standing in a doctor’s office examining room. The doctor and an assistant where standing on one side of the examining table and my mother and I (dressed in an examining gown) where on the other side.

The next thing I am doing is calling my friends and telling them I’m going to die.

That is when the alarm went off.

It’s good to know I might have options

Last night we had a couple over for dinner. As we were hanging out in the kitchen, drinking wine and getting dinner ready we started talking about one of their friends.

I had seen this friend of theirs several times before but didn’t know her name so I described her as the “really attractive blond with short hair” and then I went on to say that if I was a lesbian she would be right up my ally.

Their quick response to my comment was, “YOU would totally get picked-up by lesbians. You know…if you were club’n it.”

My little Molten Lava Cake

I thought it might be tough to get her back on the bus to camp this morning since the first thing out of her mouth yesterday when I picked her up from all day camp was, “I’m not going there again, thank you very much.”

It didn’t seem to matter that she made new friends, created a fort that her group hung out in all day, went swimming, sang songs, did crafts and even got to take the bus for the first time in her life. When looking down the dark isle of that bus, she did an about face and ran straight back into the car. When I went after her, her terror filled eyes where stairing back at me like a wild animal about to be attacked, like I was throwing her to the dogs to be left for dead.

Tears and hysterical screaming ensued as I tried to pull her little body from the car, the counselors even tried to talk her off the ledge. But no…she wanted to stay with mommy. She was scared. She did not want anything to do with the bus, her friends, canoeing, songs or anything else they could throw at her.

And it is at these precise moments, where as a mother, I am at a loss. I know I want her to go but should she stay? And then the questions start bouncing around in my head…Is she just not emotionally ready for camp? Do I make her go? Do I let her stay? Did something happen she didn’t tell me about? Am I pushing her too fast to grow up? Is she just being stubborn?

And today, after we watched the bus pull away, we drove down to the next bus stop. We took a little more time. We talked more about the bus and the day and how she was going to get on the bus and who she was going to sit with. Then we walked up the big scary bus stairs together and found her friend, who was just as scared as she was, saving her a seat.

2 ½ months of suck

The following was written on June 1st but not published.

Our TiVo died.

This is truly a conundrum. My first thought is no TV for the summer. My second thought is, where can I buy the drugs to keep me sane for that hour that my children where slack jawed and sucked into the tube for 1 hour? My third thought is, maybe I’m giving too much credence to the television and not enough confidence in my children.
………………….

2 ½ months later….I still miss TiVo.

No TiVo has increased the kids TV viewing slightly. Now they get to watch TV in the morning when we are assured there are kid’s shows and then they get to watch a movie at night if things get too out of hand or my drug supply hasn’t made it in yet.

I have also lost several good hours of my life by watching meaningless shows and commercials that I don’t care about. And after seeing a few ads for the new Thursday night fall line-up we sucked it up and ordered ourselves a new TiVo.

THANK GOD! Thank you Adam. I can’t wait for this season of Grey’s Anatomy and I won’t EVER miss it due to a scheduling conflict.

I LOVE YOU TiVo and I know your going to love your new home.